VBS 10 Months Early

“Hmmm, I guess they haven’t changed that sign for a while,” I mentioned to Husband as we drove past a neighborhood church.

“What sign do you mean?”

“The one on that church we just past. It says VBS June 9-14. Today is August 8.”

“What makes you think they haven’t changed it? Maybe they are 10 months early,”  he said with his characteristic smirk.

I took a few seconds to pause and ponder what he said. OK, this was one of his jokes.

“Oh, my goodness! I guess you are right. I always fail to think that far ahead, “ I teasingly agreed.

“I know. That’s because you aren’t blessed with ADHD.”

“True,  I ‘m not. I don’t think outside the boundaries like you do.”

“I concur. It’s part of my ADHD creativeness. I just see things from a different perspective than you and most people.” He said it with a stoic blank expression, but he couldn’t hold a straight face for long; he laughed at his own wit. 

I readily agreed with him again. He often thinks in totally different directions than I do. Maybe it’s a male v. female issue. Maybe it’s because he has a quicker sense of humor.

No, I think he was right. His ADHD processing skills gives him a completely different capacity and perception.

It’s inconsistent that he mentioned planning ahead. Here is the man who seldom plans 24-hours ahead other than for going to work or church.

“How peculiar that you would see it as planning ahead.”

I saw that familiar grin cross his face again.

“Well, yes. That’s because it wasn’t I who was doing the planning. I merely reacted to their planning.”

“Does that mean I shouldn’t get my hopes up that you have seen the advantage of planning ahead?”

“Who said they had the advantage for planning ahead? I am the excuse-maker. I know all the comments for justifications or explanations. It’s one of my ADHD talents.”

In essence he said, after all these years, don’t get hopeful that he has improved his planning skills, and as I think about it, I would be foolish to ask him to reinvent himself. He wouldn’t be himself.

If it’s a choice between planning ahead or being witty, I choose the latter. I certainly don’t want him to stop being clever. We’ve endured many months of depression when he looked at me with a blank affect or expression, and during which times he had little humor and didn’t even laugh at our humor. I choose his comic, off-handed comments any day over struggling, pushing, and upholding him while in the depths of despair and despondency.

“So” , I asked, “Are you telling me it is far better to justify an out-dated sign with the explanation that it is actually ahead rather than behind?”

“Sure. I learned that from Mother. When she didn’t get her Christmas cards mailed before December 24, she waited until the following April or May to mail them. Then she told people she was merely early with her cards for the next Christmas.”

You do know, don’t you, that ADHD has a strong genetic link?