Transferable Skills

For nearly two weeks, Husband stomped throughout the house complaining and even yelling because he had not heard from a potential employer.

“It’s been 10 days, and they said they would phone by now. I know the doctor didn’t find drugs in my system other than the meds I showed him. It’s my previous employer. They must have said something bad about me.”

Of course he said other words that I choose not to print here.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked in my calmest incredulous voice. “They can only verify that you once worked for them.”

Husband doesn’t even get speeding tickets, so he has no criminal record. I was potentially at-risk for one, though, as I thought about turning him over my knee to spank him.

“Give them time. The HR person may not be as anxious about you having a job as you are.” I said.

The crux of the matter is that with being retired, Husband was most ready to have some sort of part time employment.

As I said in my last blog, waiting to get this job nearly drove both of us to desperation.

Of course, within the symptoms of ADHD, what else is new?

But then the answer came that he wanted to hear.  If he could have kissed the feet of the man who hired him, he would have done so.

With the same mouth that cursed and doubted, he walked around the house praising Jesus for a positive answer to prayer.

Then the anxiety began.

“I have to read and understand this training manual. I need someone to demonstrate these responsibilities for me. What if I mess up?”

“What bothers you specifically? Can I help you as you study the manual?”

“Possibly that would help, but what do I know about this work?”

“You‘re expressing only negative thoughts. You would do well to think more positively thoughts. You are more than intelligent enough to do the work.”

I reminded him of his transferable skills, which are skills we learn in one area that we can use in another. Here are just a few of his transferable skills: results oriented, can meet the public, good computer skills, good hand skills, arrives at work on time, team player, and he can calculate and count money.

“I never thought of me in that way,” he said when I talked these skills and several others.

“I pray you won’t let the lay-off from three years ago cause you to doubt yourself and your abilities. It’s a matter of showing up each day and doing the routine. You can learn it easily. ”

Like many children and teens with ADHD, Husband often heard negative statements and questions that caused him to develop negative self-talk patterns: Why did (didn’t) you do that? Get your head out. Try harder. You are lazy (silly, stupid, a smart-aleck). The comments go on and on. As a person with ADHD who was diagnosed later in life, Husband demonstrates self-doubt and anxiety in many new situations because his self-confidence is quite low. He is convinced others will criticize him for the least little mistake, and he benefits from praise and encouragement more than a typical person.

So do most of us.