Did I Love Him?

Did I Love Him?

A Facebook friend posted a blog that has appealed to people all over the world. The writer, Pop Chassid, claims he only thought he loved his wife when they met, dated, and married. No so, he now claims, because at those times he was merely filled with emotion and inward fire. Since then, he has learned that he loves his wife through his actions. Throughout all major religions he has received a hearty endorsement for his words.

OK. Here’s mine.

I mean the man said it so well. Love is action.

When I met a handsome blonde boy/man in World Literature, I was immediately attracted to his humble ways and intelligence. Actually, I was drawn to his crude sense of humor.

I didn’t know it was more than a sense of humor; it was how he went through life gaining acceptance.

“Make ‘em laugh,” he thought, “They won’t make fun of me as quickly. People will like me for it and accept me. ”

“ Oh my gosh!” I heard myself respond to many of his remarks and stories. Other times I blushed scarlet.

He thought it meant I liked him, which really I did. But I didn’t love him

A few years later I sat across the table eating a meal with him as we hinted about the type of life we would form together and the marriage we would have. He liked the starry gaze in my eyes, and we both thought that we were in love.

Passion. Attraction. Strong positive feelings. We had those, but not real love.

It wasn’t until after we married that I truly began to really love him through my actions.

I told him about the love of God who accepts him at all times and in spite of  mistakes.

I praised him in front of people even though at home I observed weaknesses he hid from me during the courting years.

I helped to pay bills when he forgot to do so, or deliberately refused to pay them. I encouraged him through the moments of misery when financial decisions overwhelmed him.

I cleaned and tidied where he made numerous messes and continued to encourage him to learn better skills in that area.

I continually studied and learned about ADHD in order to understand his life past, present, and even plan for life future.

When he got sick, I made certain we sought the best and most appropriate doctor we could find in our community, and I attended his appointments to lend support.

But lest you think I was the only one doing the loving, he also loved through his own actions. He modeled it in front of our kids.

He encouraged me to pursue every dream I’ve had, especially my career and academic dreams.

Most importantly, he was there when I delivered each of our children and took them in his arms and helped to nurture them.

He went to work for us each day and sacrificed with me, so I could be a stay-home mom. Like me, he did not want our children to make that sacrifice.

He supports me in my business which he truly wants to succeed, and has helped me explore facets of ADHD exemplified through his personal experiences.

After 39 plus years, we have really loved each other time and again, and I am proud of us.

We are now in our Sexy Sixties as he likes to describe us, and I pray we have many more years to express our love actions.

Like today, he is coming to my office to take me to lunch because I have to work until 10 p.m.  I will be that late because I teach evening classes at a local university.  I love him by making certain I take on this extra work whenever it is offered.

Did I love when I married Husband? Compared to now, I didn’t know what love was all about. But I know now.