One in a Million

Restaurants have become one of our more favorite haunts, and I don’t mean that poetically.

Husband and I often hang out at restaurants these days because we no longer enjoy cooking. However, this blog is not about eating out. It is about a song I heard during lunch this week.

The deep baritone voice caught my attention: “A one in a million, chance of a lifetime, And life showed compassion, And sent to me a stroke of love called you, A one in a million you.”

I stared across the table at the familiar eyes and face.

Husband stopped chewing and held my gaze, “What?”

“Who is singing?” I always ask him because he is the one who pays attention to such details.

It is ironic, I know, that the one with ADHD pays attention to nitty-gritty details, but he is the one with the interest in performers.

“Larry Graham,” came his short reply.

As I continued to watch his face, I thought how appropriate those words are to a couple who is growing old together.

Husband said, “We’re not there yet. I’ll tell you when we have gotten old.”

The song continued, “I started to believe I'd never find anyone,
Doubt had tried to convince me to give in, Said you can't win... But one day the sun it came a'shinin' through, The rain had stopped, and the skies were blue.”
“That’s me,” I thought as I remembered Friends University, how I met Husband, and how in my loneliness, I had prayed for a certain type of man to be my life partner.

I didn’t know about ADHD at that time, but knowing what I know now, I would likely have included it on the request list.

“I found a piece of happiness to call my own. For to love you, to me, is to live.” I mouthed those words at Husband.

He looked at me as if to question my sanity.

Talk about ironic. That same morning I had gone through the house muttering to myself again.

It wasn’t about happiness or living to love.

No, indeed, it was about my frustration at unfinished chores, repairs that have long been ignored, and other irritations that fill our marriage.

“A one in a million, chance of a lifetime.”
My mind raced to the unique silliness that can only come out of my Husband’s mouth.

“I go through life like an amoeba in a vat of acid, constantly pulling away from the stimuli,” Husband once told me.

And I reflected on the three children only Husband could have fathered.

“Hi, there, Sweet Thing. I’m your daddy,” he said when he first held each of our newborn babies.

“A one in a million, chance of a lifetime. And life, showed compassion,” the song said.

If you know ADHD, you know the challenges one faces as the spouse of a person with ADHD. However, you may also know the inner criticisms that go along with being that person. “I’m a failure. I can’t do that. I am totally inadequate. I will never be like that other person.”

“And life, showed compassion, And sent to me, a stroke of love, called you. A one in a million you.”

In Husband’s case, he does not realize I refused to settle for second best. To me, his humor, intelligence, and spiritual depth primarily   describe him.

Yes, we deal with his struggles with depression, lack of follow through, and low self-esteem.  When life harms him, it is extremely painful to me.

“I was lonely with empty arms to fill, Then I found a piece of happiness to call my own. And life is worth living, For to love you, to me, is to live.”

I consider it my responsibility to help him recharge and refill when he feels depleted or discouraged.

I am blessed to do so because he truly is one in a million.