Dancing The Stripper

My mother-in-law could be impulsive in action and spending, especially when she was bored.

She bored easily.

Shortly before our wedding, my beloved and I stood in her kitchen at 2 p.m. one hot June afternoon. I remember the exact time because she warned me, “At 2:10 Bill McLean is going to play my daily request, ‘The Stripper’ on the radio.”

My beloved glared at her and said, “Oh, Mother, don’t!” as he turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

In no time, Bill announced that he was ready with Betty’s daily request, “This one is for Betty McNay”, and on cue she grabbed her tea towel. Holding it by each corner behind her back, she postured in anticipation of the music. She stood on one leg and pointed the toe on the other foot.

The music began with the familiar grind. The distinctive instrumental song is associated with burlesque and strip tease. Raw ya Te du te du, te du du du. Bump. Bump.

And she began her moves, only they were not so familiar to me. She began by lifting her shoulders as she moved the towel up and down in a drying motion.

In a Fred-Astaire manner, it became her prop as she twisted and moved and bumped around her small kitchen: across the back of her shoulders, across her ample breasts as she shimmed her shoulders, and across her expansive backside as she bumped, bumped, bumped with the tune until it reached its crescendo and final phrase.

She said the ultimate goal was to tie a tassel to each nipple and make them spin in opposite directions.

Da du, Da du, Te da, da, du da, Ta da, da, da, da, bump.

If you do not know this tune, you would do well to listen to the Youtube version. It was written by David Rose in 1962.

Of course, as I laughed until the tears streamed down my face. I was forced to lean against a wall to hold me up.  She watched me intently, getting a real kick out of my reactions.

Husband stood off merely shaking his head from side to side.

“You just had to do it, didn’t you?”

She laughed heartily.

I thought the entire event hilarious, while she performed to my appreciation of her dance.

That is how she often handled her frustration or boredom. She turned to humor.

Adults with ADHD without any knowledge of the disorder instinctively realize they need release with movement.

My mother-in-law could really move. She taught people with physical and mental disabilities to bowl, she rode motorcycles and drove her cars fast. She liked to be on the go.

As long as she was impulsively moving, she was less likely to do the spending, which she would attempt to hide from Father-in-law.

Impulsive spending is one of those issues that can be a sore spot for the adult with ADHD and his or her partner. For Mother-in-law it was a matter of resistance to Father-in-law’s budget and control of finances.

We would call it being oppositional.

Keep in mind she was not a heavy spender. She didn’t fill her house with expensive items. Actually she mostly bought garage sale or resale items.

However, when she saw a new item at reduced cost, she might buy it and hide it from him for a while. For example, she once bought a blue and white dress in her signature polka dot pattern that fit her form well. Along with it she bought two or three more new dresses, and then hid all of them under the bed. The space beneath the bed was terribly cluttered with old magazines and other publications, so she knew he would not see the box.

Approximately one month later, she brought the polka dot dress out of hiding and wore it to a special event.

“Nice dress,” he complimented her. “Is it new?”

“No, I’ve had it for a while,” she told him.

The account of the dance is amusing. The one about the dress is not. Both stories illustrate classic ADHD behavior.