5 Reasons Why you NEED to be Involved at Your ADHD Child's School...

Yesterday during dinner, Husband lamented on how much he misses his mother.

“She’s been dead 38 years, 11 months, and 27 days, and I think about her almost every day.”

“Evidently. That’s rather exact counting.”

“Yes,” he proceeded without catching the hint of sarcasm.”She was so involved in our lives when we were kids. You know that she volunteered at our elementary schools. Teachers and other kids loved her.”

“I am quite aware of her involvement in your lives and how much fun she generated. What brought that up? Why are we talking about this?”

“It was something you said about being right-brained and needing support.”

He was right. I do tend to talk a great deal about ADHD and how it affects the people who live with attention deficit. My Mother-in-law didn’t realize she modeled great strategies for mothering children with ADHD.

I suspect that she also was a person living with ADHD, and she merely used her skills as an outlet for her own creativity. I want to be clear about this: I deeply loved her; she was a super person to know. She made us laugh, and she loved us.

Husband was correct. The child with ADHD, often called the right-brained child, needs much support at school, and whenever it is possible, the parent who can volunteer at his or her child’s school creates positive connections. 

Here are five top reasons why parents of ADHD students profit from being involved at their kids’ schools:

1. Parents model ways of caring for others.

2. Parents and teachers get to know each other.

3. Parents make friends with other parents.

4. Parents are available when their children need support.

5. Your child will be glad to see you there.

“Mom was always friendly with other parents and other kids. She was just a friendly and kind face to everyone in the building.”

“I am curious. What did this do for you as a kid?”

“It was always good to see Mom. She was a part of everything in my life.”

“I think her presence provided the structure your ADHD self needed.”

“Oh, yes. I would have to answer to Mom if I got into trouble in school or failed to get my work done. I never thought of this before, that is, I never thought that with her in the building, it was better for me.”

Christmas Cheer

While we were driving and looking at Christmas lights, I wistfully said, “Remember our first Christmas together? Do you remember the little table-top tree and ornaments? How about the pink caftan robe I made for you?”

Husband concentrated on his driving. Finally he asked, “What brought that up?”

“Oh, you know. I get nostalgic when I think of the many Christmas celebrations we enjoyed when our kids were little.”

“They weren’t born that first year,” he pointed out with a smirk.

“I realize that. But I think of Oldest Daughter’s first Christmas when she was five weeks old. I remember wrapping our presents with pink ribbons to commemorate her birth, and I remember her first pair of jeans that your sister bought her.”

Husband continued to smirk. He often tells me he draws frames of pictures in his head as he listens.

As I plunged ahead with my memories, I continued, “Then there was Crown Prince’s first Christmas when he was two months old, and your sister bought him his first pair of jeans, too.”

“Is this about my sister’s buying habits?” I could tell he was not too thrilled with this conversation.

“No, I think it is about true happiness at Christmas. Each baby brought immense joy and happiness at his or her first Christmas. Even when the money was tight, we were happy as a family.”

“When was it not tight at Christmas?” Husband growled.

“OK, that aside,” I agreed, “I wish to continue remembering happy moments from the past.”

“So are you the Ghost of Christmas Past? Long past or just your past?”

“Very good Ebenezer.”

“So, where is this conversation leading?”  I don’t think he likes to dwell on joyful thoughts.

“The emphasis of Christmas lies on the small pieces of happiness of being with family and doing things for others. The best memories do not highlight certain gifts as much as they do the times of being with people who are near and dear.”

He didn’t catch the part about not highlighting gifts. “One of my best Christmas gifts was the pogo stick Grandma and Grandpa Lutz bought for me in 1959. See, I even remember the year. They bought it just for me and my needs.”

“Was it the toy or the fact Grandma and Grandpa gave it? “

“Yes,” he responded in his usual way.

Christmas is not always joyful for the person with ADHD. It can be a huge challenge for him or her in terms of money and empathy. This year, help your person with ADHD appreciate his or her own strengths by encouraging one small volunteer service. It will give your person the confidence to focus on others instead of his or her own needs.

For more information on how you can help your family member with ADHD or yourself, contact McNay & Voth ADHD Coaching Services at www.coachadhd.com or 316-771-7557.