Tax Day

April 15^th. The dreaded Tax Day. Possibly you’re among many tax-paying Americans who don’t dread the deadline to file your Income Tax forms. You’re done, and your tax return is in the mail.  If so, then congratulations.

However, for many adults with ADHD, filing tax forms often brings a sense of guilt or gnaw of defense and plethora of excuses as to why the forms are not ready to mail by midnight. On the other hand, the same adult can take heart.  You can easily overcome tax quandaries this year and can be ready for next year’s tax season.

If you’re not ready to file you tax forms this year, quickly expend the time and effort to consult a tax preparation specialist, and learn how you can file for an extension. If you have the forms, but not the money you need to pay, talk to the tax specialist on how you can file now and pay later.

Keep the promise to yourself that you will be ready earlier next year to get your tax forms done on time. Orderly record keeping may not be the most interesting project for you to carry out, but it can be done. When tax time rolls over us, it's important to have a head start on the process of filing.

Whatever it might be, your personal system for organization can serve you well in your record keeping. Possibly for you, it is a simple matter of a large paper grocery bag. I’m not kidding; I saw it work well for a late friend. She was a professional, and she made a super income. She just did not like to take on the challenge of sorting papers related to income tax. The current year’s brown sack sat on the corner of her desk.

Any paper, bill, receipt she thought might be related to taxes went into the sack. “I take it to my tax lady and let her sort out the important ones,” she told me when I laughed at her system. “That’s what I pay her to do.”  It worked. No guess work as to what the tax preparation specialist might need.

Other persons find that they do well with color-coded files, and they make them simple in case another member of the family may need to get to the information. Pick a color that matches your concept of what goes in the file. For example, red is often associated with medical expenses. Yellow is matched with contributions and charity donations. Whichever color you use, it must remind you of the content. Keep these files in a crate or desk drawer that you will see each month. Whenever a tax record comes across your desk that month, file it immediately in the correct file folder. Other persons use open small baskets or containers of different colors. Open baskets allow for a quick toss when sorting important pieces of information.

Of course, you need an incentive for filing those papers each month, so think how you might reward yourself when you do. Undeniably, you are bribing yourself to do something that needs to be done anyway, but persons with ADHD often focus better on any task when there is have a reward or reason for doing so. I expect you will know exactly what works well as an incentive for you.

 

 

 

Does It Fit?

I often have conversations with ADHD adults about occupations or careers, or whether they are prepared to do their jobs.

It simply boils down to the matter of a good fit for the individual’s strengths and skills.

One adult female told me, “I’d love to have a job working in an office, but I can’t spin the different plates or balance all the responsibilities. I just can’t. I’ve tried.”

So we talked about her strengths and other interests, and she kept coming back to her work with children. She loves the concept of Play Therapy. Bingo, she concentrated her efforts toward play therapy where she already had the hours of training. It fits her well.

As I have previously mentioned, Husband retired after nearly 40 years as a technical writer. Frankly, I’m not certain what made him so successful at that type of detailed work except he has fabulous writing skills, and he reads one word at a time.

He catches typo errors faster than anyone else I know. He loves to scan bulletins, billboards, magazines, and papers for the minute mistakes. He points them out with a broad smile across his face.

I once remarked, “You really get a sense of satisfaction from finding those, don’t you?”

“It’s a game,” he said.  He wins.

So back to the retirement, when it came time to find part time work, he struggled with what kind of job to look for. He applied for a tollbooth attendant with the turnpike authority.

At first he worried about remembering the routine or learning the process.

“You’re kidding me, right? You’ll learn what to do. It may take a few days, but I have no doubt you will catch on quickly.”

“What makes you so certain?” he implored. “How can you be sure?”

“Because I know you and your interests. I know your skill strengths.”

“Such as?”

“First, you like for people to see you are in The Know. When a driver asks you a direction or question about Wichita, you will enjoy having the answers. Second, you’re good with numbers, so you will memorize fees with little effort, even if the machine does total the fees. Third, you will talk to drivers and smile at their dogs and children. That’s good customer-relation skills.”

“Those are the easy things, he replied.

“But the things that come easy to us are usually our abilities and strengths, and the things that come easy to you are necessary skills for this job.”

And, definitely, the job is an excellent fit for him.

In the main, adults with ADHD possess creativity, intelligence, and numerous, individuals skills, but ADHD symptoms such as disorganization and time management problems may hamper using those skills in the work place. Like the woman I mentioned earlier, these adults struggle with work that does not fit their skills.

At McNay & Voth ADHD Services, we take pleasure in helping adults discover their inner creativity and focus on work or occupations that fit who they are and what they can do.

If you are an adult with ADHD who struggles with issues at work, we invite you to contact McNay & Voth at 316-655-9807 or www.coachadhd. Make an appointment for a free hour consultation. We can help you find your personal fit.

 

 

Time Command Center McNay

I expect it seemed a strange place to think about this, but last week as we used the bank drive-though, I philosophically mentioned, “Do you realize that 1963 was 50 years ago?”

Husband didn’t even look up from his paper work. But I saw the shadow of misery pass across his face.

“Why do you look so sad?” I asked.

“Why did you ask such an asinine question?” At that point he turned his body toward me as with a most puzzled expression all across his face.

“I saw you write 2013, and thought that I never dreamed I would really live to see this year. I did the math, and fifty years ago was 1963. I was just entering my teens, and now I plan ways to detain retirement.”

“Where did the time go?” I continued.

“It went too quickly,” he agreed, “and most of the time I wasn’t even aware of it being present in the first place.”

“Fifty years ago, we thought time would stand still, which we now know it does not. We thought time was a thing we could control or hang onto.”

“You tell me that we cannot control time; we only control ourselves. So much for self-control.”

His musing reminded me of how time-control methods evolved in our household.

“I think we learned to do it best when we learned to make it a group effort.”

“Meaning?”

“We kept a family calendar, or at least the kids and I did, and reminded you frequently of your part on it. And, I think it is a system that works best in many households of persons with ADHD. We try to hold those with ADHD responsible for time management, but it seems most successful when there is a command center, so to speak. Ours was in our kitchen. Remember?”

“ Hardly. Well, maybe, barely. I recall I wrote on it a few times myself.”

“The successful part of it for us was that you were not responsible for maintaining it. Of course, I mostly used calendars designed for mothers, but in doing so, I learned to write down deadlines and important dates. The kids learned to use it, too.”

“Where is our command center these days?” he asked.

“You’re kidding, right? It’s my day planner. As a result of the family calendar, I began carrying a day planner and keeping it where I always know where to find it.”

“Oh, yes. The red book. At least it was red last year.”

“I record all your appointments and mine, my daily work goals, and ideas or other thoughts that come to me. My use of it came to me over time, but I now read that experts recommend similar uses for a day planner.”

“I doubt I will ever really use one,” Husband declared. “I know I won’t. I would forget what I want to write in it.”

“You’re highly resistive to changes and effort like this. The thing you could learn is to immediately give me your appointment cards. Or. now that you have a Smartphone, you can also learn to use your reminders application.”

Many adults with ADHD fail to use a day planner or even calendar as a way to record deadlines or dump their spontaneous ideas. However, we reassure you the day planner is one of the most effective ways the adult can learn to control his or her time.

If you are a person with ADHD and find that you cannot successfully use a day planner, don't give up. You may need to have the learning process broken down into even smaller steps. You may need assistance from a strong support system and the guidance of an ADHD coach.

Contact us at McNay &Voth ADHD Coaching at www.coachADHD.com or phone 316-771-7557, and let us help you learn skills for time management.

 

Getting Ready for the Holidays

I wish I had known about attention-deficit disorder early in our marriage. Of course, we didn’t use that term in those days, but had I known, life would have been easier for Husband during the last weeks of any given year. My quest for perfect holidays clashed with his ADHD.

I began the first week of each November sharing all I wanted to accomplish for the holiday season from Thanksgiving through New Year’s Day.

His eyes glazed over when he heard the length of the to-do list, which I assumed was his list, too. However, I didn’t notice his confusion. I presumed he was as enthusiastic about the season as I was.

His reaction was to mentally sit down and stubbornly refuse to get going. I am certain I heard him groan inwardly. No, I take that back. He was most vocal with his complaints.

I thought of presents he could make or build for the children. He said, “Make? I can’t even find my hammer and nails.”

I dreamed of a beautifully decorated house when his family came for Christmas. He dreamed of solitude and retorted, “Who invited them anyway?”

When I planned an evening for making dozens of different types of cookies, he said, “I think three dozen sugar cookies are enough. We can decorate them with sprinkles.”

My holiday planning brought stress to our lives.

Today I am older and wiser; I realize I had most unrealistic expectations for both Husband and myself in terms of time and money. Instead of a Should List, it would have been better to have a Preference List. Even a This Would Be Nice List would have reduced the stress.

If you are a person with ADHD or married to one, I recommend you develop a stress-less approach to holiday planning. The operant word is priorities.

1.     Self-care. Schedule time each day for exercise, naps, and time with your immediate family. Mindfully meditate and pray.

2.    Your emphasis. Choose the most significant element of the holiday around which to build your celebrations. If it is the religious meaning, center your plans in relation to a special religious service or hosting a holiday buffet.

3.    Lights and decorations. Perhaps you really gain delight from the festivities of the holidays. Plan when you will spend time with family and friends. Plan to give simple gifts as a sign of affection and thoughtfulness. Keep decorations to a minimum and shop online where you will find numerous perfect gifts at bargain prices.

4.    Holiday messages and cards. I don’t think it is tacky to send email messages during the holidays. Make messages personal, and consider how you will keep the contact green by protecting the environment.

5.    Holiday Goodies. If your holiday should be filled with special treats, buy them, or barter with a friend who likes to bake. Perhaps your friend would rather bake than wrap presents or address cards.

Ask, “What works best for my situation?”, and set your goals accordingly. If you need help setting your goals, contact McNay & Voth ADHD Coaching (www.coachadhd.com) for the support and encouragement you need. Have fun during the holidays.