Time Command Center McNay

I expect it seemed a strange place to think about this, but last week as we used the bank drive-though, I philosophically mentioned, “Do you realize that 1963 was 50 years ago?”

Husband didn’t even look up from his paper work. But I saw the shadow of misery pass across his face.

“Why do you look so sad?” I asked.

“Why did you ask such an asinine question?” At that point he turned his body toward me as with a most puzzled expression all across his face.

“I saw you write 2013, and thought that I never dreamed I would really live to see this year. I did the math, and fifty years ago was 1963. I was just entering my teens, and now I plan ways to detain retirement.”

“Where did the time go?” I continued.

“It went too quickly,” he agreed, “and most of the time I wasn’t even aware of it being present in the first place.”

“Fifty years ago, we thought time would stand still, which we now know it does not. We thought time was a thing we could control or hang onto.”

“You tell me that we cannot control time; we only control ourselves. So much for self-control.”

His musing reminded me of how time-control methods evolved in our household.

“I think we learned to do it best when we learned to make it a group effort.”

“Meaning?”

“We kept a family calendar, or at least the kids and I did, and reminded you frequently of your part on it. And, I think it is a system that works best in many households of persons with ADHD. We try to hold those with ADHD responsible for time management, but it seems most successful when there is a command center, so to speak. Ours was in our kitchen. Remember?”

“ Hardly. Well, maybe, barely. I recall I wrote on it a few times myself.”

“The successful part of it for us was that you were not responsible for maintaining it. Of course, I mostly used calendars designed for mothers, but in doing so, I learned to write down deadlines and important dates. The kids learned to use it, too.”

“Where is our command center these days?” he asked.

“You’re kidding, right? It’s my day planner. As a result of the family calendar, I began carrying a day planner and keeping it where I always know where to find it.”

“Oh, yes. The red book. At least it was red last year.”

“I record all your appointments and mine, my daily work goals, and ideas or other thoughts that come to me. My use of it came to me over time, but I now read that experts recommend similar uses for a day planner.”

“I doubt I will ever really use one,” Husband declared. “I know I won’t. I would forget what I want to write in it.”

“You’re highly resistive to changes and effort like this. The thing you could learn is to immediately give me your appointment cards. Or. now that you have a Smartphone, you can also learn to use your reminders application.”

Many adults with ADHD fail to use a day planner or even calendar as a way to record deadlines or dump their spontaneous ideas. However, we reassure you the day planner is one of the most effective ways the adult can learn to control his or her time.

If you are a person with ADHD and find that you cannot successfully use a day planner, don't give up. You may need to have the learning process broken down into even smaller steps. You may need assistance from a strong support system and the guidance of an ADHD coach.

Contact us at McNay &Voth ADHD Coaching at www.coachADHD.com or phone 316-771-7557, and let us help you learn skills for time management.