Learning Social Skills

“So I’ve been thinking about social skills for the person with ADHD,” I recently told Husband.

“Oh-h-h-?” he drew out the question. “And what about my social skills have you been thinking?”

“How did you know I was applying this to you?” I asked as innocently as possible.

“Yeah, right. You always bring it all back to me.”

“You provide such excellent examples. Well, to be honest, I was  thinking of the sweet story your Mother shared about you at age four.”

“You are NOT going to bring up the times I crapped my pants when I was playing?”

“Don’t be such a spoil-sport. Of course I am. Mother said you would be so engrossed in your play at the far end of the half-acre lot that when you realized you had to go, it was too late.”

“Don’t tell me. I remember.”

“She said she would see you make a mad dash toward the house with your little legs running as fast as possible. Then, you would stop and get that panic look across your face. She and I laughed at the thought of toddler you doing such a thing.”

“Not funny. And it wasn’t funny when she made me clean my own underwear.”

“Well, she had to teach you to become aware of your bathroom needs before she sent you to school the next year.”

“She should have taught me about the under-arm pads,” he mused into the distance.

“What does that mean?”

“Do you remember the deodorant that came on the round pads? I wore mine.”

“You WHAT?”

“In high school, I wore them. One day I told Mom that I didn’t like them. They didn’t stay in place all day.”

I bent over laughing as he continued, “She said ‘Honey, you’re not suppose to wear them. You apply the deodorant with them.’  I felt like a fool. Of course, throughout high school, I felt like a fool.”

“It saddens me to hear you say that.”

“It is true. I didn’t have problems making friends. I had problems keeping the right kind of friends. I couldn’t keep my smart comments to myself, and I was too emotional and moody. As you know, my low-self-esteem caused me to do stupid things just to feel like I fit in.”

“I fear readers will not believe how often our conversations actually do turn back to your poor self-esteem and social problems in your adolescence. It continues to haunt you, and I wish I had been a part of your life at that time, so I could have helped you.”

“That would have been a disaster. I think that you would have learned to dislike me, too.”

Persons with ADHD often experience social problems. In fact, it may be that up to 75% of them have abundant interpersonal problems.

If you are one of those persons, I invite you to contact McNay &Voth  ADHD Coaching Services. Allow us the opportunity to help you set new social goals and to develop new social skills. Contact us at www.coachADHD.com or 316-771-7558. We are waiting to help you.