Christmas Cheer

While we were driving and looking at Christmas lights, I wistfully said, “Remember our first Christmas together? Do you remember the little table-top tree and ornaments? How about the pink caftan robe I made for you?”

Husband concentrated on his driving. Finally he asked, “What brought that up?”

“Oh, you know. I get nostalgic when I think of the many Christmas celebrations we enjoyed when our kids were little.”

“They weren’t born that first year,” he pointed out with a smirk.

“I realize that. But I think of Oldest Daughter’s first Christmas when she was five weeks old. I remember wrapping our presents with pink ribbons to commemorate her birth, and I remember her first pair of jeans that your sister bought her.”

Husband continued to smirk. He often tells me he draws frames of pictures in his head as he listens.

As I plunged ahead with my memories, I continued, “Then there was Crown Prince’s first Christmas when he was two months old, and your sister bought him his first pair of jeans, too.”

“Is this about my sister’s buying habits?” I could tell he was not too thrilled with this conversation.

“No, I think it is about true happiness at Christmas. Each baby brought immense joy and happiness at his or her first Christmas. Even when the money was tight, we were happy as a family.”

“When was it not tight at Christmas?” Husband growled.

“OK, that aside,” I agreed, “I wish to continue remembering happy moments from the past.”

“So are you the Ghost of Christmas Past? Long past or just your past?”

“Very good Ebenezer.”

“So, where is this conversation leading?”  I don’t think he likes to dwell on joyful thoughts.

“The emphasis of Christmas lies on the small pieces of happiness of being with family and doing things for others. The best memories do not highlight certain gifts as much as they do the times of being with people who are near and dear.”

He didn’t catch the part about not highlighting gifts. “One of my best Christmas gifts was the pogo stick Grandma and Grandpa Lutz bought for me in 1959. See, I even remember the year. They bought it just for me and my needs.”

“Was it the toy or the fact Grandma and Grandpa gave it? “

“Yes,” he responded in his usual way.

Christmas is not always joyful for the person with ADHD. It can be a huge challenge for him or her in terms of money and empathy. This year, help your person with ADHD appreciate his or her own strengths by encouraging one small volunteer service. It will give your person the confidence to focus on others instead of his or her own needs.

For more information on how you can help your family member with ADHD or yourself, contact McNay & Voth ADHD Coaching Services at www.coachadhd.com or 316-771-7557.