Public Encounters of the Extrovert Kind

Public Encounters of the Extrovert Kind

We love to eat at the Bangkok Restaurant in Wichita, and over the years, we have made friends with various owners and staff there.

I don’t know the first name of the woman who currently owns it, but we have known and her late husband for a couple of years. This past summer he died while on a trip back to Vietnam to see family, so her nephew Keo has joined in helping her operate her business.

Keo is a winsome man about 25 years of age with a bright smile and heavy accent. I find it difficult to completely understand all he says, but Husband carries on lengthy conversations with him. It was Keo who told us about the death and who comes to laugh and talk as we wait for the appetizer platter we order at every meal.

Husband encourages it.

Last week, the entire family met there for Friday dinner. The adult children were seated and waiting when Husband and I walked in.

“Oh, it is you!” exclaimed an excited Keo when he saw us approach the table. Obviously he had not recognized the others in our party.

“Hey, Keo,” laughed Husband, “I guess we eat here a lot.”

Keo ran to throw his arm around Husband’s ample waist. Since Husband stands about 6 foot, three inches and Keo stands about five foot, it was a humorous embrace, coupled with the fact that Keo is noticeably thin, while Husband is noticeably not.

“How you been?” asked the host as he took our orders.

“We’re well and hungry,” responded Husband.

The rest of the conversation alluded me, since I could only understand the one-syllable responses Husband made.

Keo chattered on and on, and especially when he came to the end of table where my two beautiful daughters sat.

Back to where Husband sat, he talked with Husband about learning to speak English while in training as a Buddhist monk.

“That’s very good.  You made a good choice. I am glad you worked hard,” Husband replied.  Keo didn’t know Husband could only hear part of what he said, and only cared about the food we had ordered.

Keo probably doesn’t understand that as a person with ADHD, it takes a great deal of energy for Husband to do something like remain silent or control certain conversations.

It reminds me of when we go to malls and other public events. People with developmental disabilities we knew many years ago will spot Husband each time.

“Hi,” they yell at him and call out his name.

It doesn’t matter if it has been over 30 years since we last saw the individual. It is Husband they remember.

He carries on conversations with them as if he just saw them a few days prior.

They don’t know he will eventually ask me their names and which settings in which we knew them.

Husband’s mother was also gregarious and engaging, and I remember a specific event that took place when we had been married about two months.

We all attended the funeral of a local pilot killed in a flight test. His mistress was really broken up about his death and the fact his legal wife and children received all the words of comfort and condolence.

Later several in the group met at a restaurant, and Mother-in-law saw someone she knew sitting across the room.

She stood at her place and waved her napkin with broad strokes.

 “Hey,” she called to the other person who called back.

Without looking up from his menu, Father-in-law said, “Sit down, Bett.”

She glanced down at him and quickly took her seat. Then, she turned to the single young engineer sitting next to her.

“Pay for Debby’s dinner,” she told him, referring to her youngest daughter and his expense account.

He dutifully did so.

Mother-in-law was at her best in group situations. I think it may be because as a person with ADHD symptoms, she craved high stimulus settings. ADHD is most common among attention-grabbing people.