Motor Mouth

At last week’s party, Baby Sis’ friend, Jill,  had us laughing about using the old “Sissh” gesture on noisy, obnoxious talkers.

“I know that one,” I bragged. “it’s the sign for “No.” Snap the thumb and two forefingers together in a “no” sign. I use it with my adult college students.

About a year ago I had a male adult student, who greeted me on the first night of class with: “I have ADHD.’ He announced it like a symbol of pride, almost ”

Oldest Daughter giggled before she asked, “And what was your response to that?”

“In my most sarcastic tone I replied, “Hmm. Really?  I would never have guessed.”

“I heard him talking ninety-to-nothing as I walked down the hall. I remember him as the stranger who, a few weeks earlier, came into another class begging, literally begging, for a bowl of the chili I brought for that class.”

I gave Oldest daughter and one of my best expressions of exasperation ever.

“I also stood with my arms crossed and watched him dominate not one, but TWO, conversations before he even spoke to me.”

Either Jill or Oldest Daughter said he must be a talented guy.

“Gheez,”  I commented while shaking my head.

I continued, “When he tried to excuse his behavior with ‘I have ADHD’, I stopped him with, “That’s not an excuse. They make medications for things like that. You can learn to take control.”

Jill wanted to know if I got through to him.

“Keep in mind sarcasm is not a form of communication, “ I confessed.

“Throughout the first lecture, he talked to students on either side.  I typically walk back and forth in front of students, so that night I stopped several times at his desk, said Sissh, and snapped the “No” sign. I made certain I was good-hearted about the whole thing, and he and the class laughed along with me.”

Jill and Oldest Daughter laughed, but they looked at me as if I have a lot of nerve.

I do.

Problem is, this student was not the only one in the class with obnoxious behavior problems due to ADHD. “Trouble occurred in the next course where the instructor did not exercise as much control, and the student made so much noise with his music and mouth, other students criticized both of them.”

He quit the university because of it.

Oldest Daughter jokingly mentioned, “They should have given him to you throughout his program.”

I looked incredulous, “They could not pay me enough to mentor him four years.”

My Oldest commented, “Dad has ADHD, and even he isn’t that offensive.”

“Hey, your dad is not offensive at all. He does not hold back when he talks to strangers, but there is something about him that allows him to get by with whatever he says.”

Laughing she agreed.

Recently we visited a new restaurant where he told the owner, “If you combined these ingredients in this manner, you would have Feijoada,  a favorite Brazilian recipe.”  I often become embarrassed at his bold gregarious approach to others, and I want to rush away. However, Husband engages people and carries on friendly conversations. As in this case he talked a long time with the owner, who disclosed that he frequently makes Feijoada.

I could have talked on and on about times when his conversation comes across as inappropriate or spontaneously rude, but I just didn’t want to go there. After all, it was Christmas time and our son-in-law’s birthday party. Why spoil it?