Thankful

Recently I told Husband: “I often ask parents of kids or teens to name their children’s strengths. Their answers always include similar qualities: creative, highly intelligent, eager to help, kind, loving. Isn’t that interesting?”

He kept a straight face: “I know. I resemble those qualities.”

“Yes, you do, and it is not a joke. Those are some of the reasons why I agreed to marry you.”

“What else?”

“What else, what? Why else did I want to marry you?”

He nodded his head.

“You were young, tall, blonde, and handsome. I loved your sense of humor and gentlemanly manners. Besides, you told me you cook.”

“I did at one time. I once loved to cook. And I did it well, if I do say so myself.”

“In addition to that, you wanted to marry me. You were not a jock who was all full of yourself. Of the fifteen qualities I wanted in a husband, you were all of them and more.”

“You are sweet to tell me those things.”

“I’ve been saying them for nearly 40 years. Don’t act as if you are surprised.”

“Surprised? No, I am grateful.”

“I am the one who is grateful, and I thank God for you and your devotion to me and our children.”

“Really?”

“Don’t let that go to your head. I am not thankful for some ways ADHD manifests itself through your actions.”

He moaned. “Don’t go there.”

“Of course, I won’t. If I ever got started, I might not stop. Besides, I make it a habit to build you up, not tear you down or add to your self-abasement. But back to being thankful, we’ve shared many wonderful experiences and a few that were very sad.”

“Now that you mention it, I was thinking of our first Thanksgiving as a married couple. It was less than a week after we buried my Mother. I don’t know how I would have gotten through that day without you.”

“That was a horrible week! I felt so sorry for your Grandmother and Grandfather when they hosted Thanksgiving Dinner that year. They are another reason I am thankful for you; you gave me grandparents. I never knew what that was like before.”

“Grandma and Grandpa loved you. They were surprised someone like you would choose to love me.”

I knew they were not surprised. They understood him and appreciated his strengths.

“I am thankful you taught me to loosen up a bit. I was quite serious about life when we married.”

“I’ve meant to talk to you about that.”

“Listen, smart-aleck. You have many times. Seriously, one of the advantages of living with your ADHD comes from the way it helped change my perspectives. Your way of thinking has rubbed off on me at times.”

“Would you do it again?”

“What? Marry you? Of course. It made living with you and having those three kids legal and moral. I wouldn’t want you to be married to another woman. That’s too much like your other Grandfather.”

We won’t go there, either.