Let’s Talk About Organization

This afternoon I asked Husband if he would discuss organization with me. He got a pained look on his face and frowned.

“No, I am not organized.”

“So what do you think about organization?”

“I think it is one of the nicest things ever invented for other people.”

“I guess that means not you?”

“That’s right. That’s exactly what it means,” he said as he turned and purred at the cat.

“Why not you?” 

He turned his head away to think, “Well, That means I would have to remember what I organized and where I put it, and that is virtually impossible.

“You keep your dresser drawers organized quite nicely.”

“I do that to keep me from embarrassing myself publicly.”

“Why is that?”

“You know. People don’t like it when you go out in public without underwear and socks and things like that on. They get all excited and call the police about your public exposure.”

“Other than your undies, when do you think you have been organized? Ever?”

“When I took certain college classes and at work I had to know when and where documents were to be delivered.”

“Are you saying it is a matter of incentive or motivation or external reason?”

“External? No, not really external; more like internal huh, what’s that p word? Policy. Internal policy. That was the motivation.”

“Why is it difficult for you to be organized?”

He repeated the question under his breath.

“We’ve been married more than 38 years; you tell me.”

“If I knew the real answer for that and a sure fix for perpetual disorganization, we could bank the profits.”

I continued asking, “What was your desk like when you were in elementary school?”

“A trash can with pencils and pens and lots of papers that should have been turned in, but I couldn’t find them at the time.”

“Did anyone try to help you organize your desk?”

“Sometimes a teacher would put the garbage can next to my desk and tell me to throw away anything I didn’t need it in, and turn in the ones I should have turned in.”

“Would it have helped if a teacher asked you to do that every Friday before school dismissed?”

“Not really. I did the same thing with my locker in high school.”

“And then you graduated from your locker to your messy car?”

He merely nodded his head with a sad expression across his face. “As I matured, I realized organization is a personal matter. The way I organize my things may not be the way others organize their things.”

As personal as this conversation may seem, I expect thousands of adults with ADHD can relate to Husband’s experiences. They are more like him than different from him when it comes to organization. Possibly as he has done, other adults with ADHD have learned across time how to organize their work or personal space. Possibly also like him, organization is more difficult at home than at work.

If you or someone you may know with ADHD have problems with organization, whether that person is a child, teen, or adult, we invite you to contact McNay & Voth ADHD Coaching at www.coachadhd.com  or phone us 316-771-7558. Let us help that person develop his or her own sense of organization.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.