Turn in Your Homework

Today I came across an old photo of Crown Prince, our only son. I seldom write about him in the blog on ADHD, but occasionally it seems quite appropriate to at least mention his name.

Only this time I want to do more than mere name reference.

In the picture a most serious little face stares back at me through large glasses. Because he was small for his age, the 11 year old boy appears to be quite younger, at least in the photo. In real life, he seemed much older, especially when comparing his functioning to his size.

Teachers often bragged about his quick ability to learn and his quest for knowledge. Lest he become arrogant or proud of his intelligence, his Grandfather loving reminded him, “Remember son, wherever you go in life, you will always meet someone who knows more than you do about some subject.”

“Yes, sir, Grandpa,” my son wisely replied.

Yet, even though he learned quickly and retained a huge amount of information, his school report card didn’t always reflect it. Whenever I saw grades of C on his card, I was alarmed. It meant he had not been completing assignments.

So, being a prudent mom, off I would march to the elementary school.

I remember one particular conversation with Mr. Rick, one of the teachers in the gifted program at that school.

“I wanted to touch base with you about my son’s math grade. What’s been going on with him that he only earned a C this quarter?”

“He’s a great kid and pretty sharp in math,” Mr. Rick countered.

“I’m aware of that, so why didn’t he earn a higher grade?”

“He doesn’t turn in his daily assignments. He does really well during class discussions and on tests, but the grade reflects his assignments.”

“You mean he doesn’t do them?”

“Oh, I see him working on them, but he doesn’t turn them in as I have directed.”

“Which is what?”

“Put his name on the paper and place it in the assignment basket on the counter. Many of his assignments are missing. I record assignments daily, and I will ask about them. Your son says he’s done them, but still fails to turn them in.”

“Can you ask the school secretary to send my son to your classroom while I am here?”

In a few minutes my precious child was standing in Mr. Rick’s class with his eyes wide and a frightened expression on his face.

“Mom! What are you doing here?”

“Hello to you, too. I wanted to know why you only earned a C in math this quarter. I thought you were handling the concepts rather well.”

“Sure, I get it.”

“Well, Mr. Rick says you’re not getting the part where you turn in your assignment.”

“I turn them in. I always finish my work.”

“I’ve asked you several days in a row to turn in your assignments. You didn’t do it,” his teacher countered.

Before my son could argue, I asked him to pull all papers out of his math notebook.

“Bingo! I see at least seven assignment papers,” I exclaimed.

My son’s face turned crimson as he stammered some sort of excuse. I didn’t even waste the time in my mind to listen. I was too busy looking for additional assignments which I found buried in a stack of drawings of airplanes and other mechanical illustrations.

“So, I think you should be following your teacher’s process for turning in these assignments. At your age, he shouldn’t have to chase them down from you.”

“Yes, Momma.” I have to admit, the way he said those words melted my heart.

Later Husband recalled that his teachers had him clean and search his desk every Friday for late assignments and throw-away trash.

A major difference was that my son is not a person with ADHD.

The similarity is that my son lost focus and became disorganized with his math.

That was the only year I made the effort to check regularly on my child’s math assignments. After that, I allowed him to learn from the consequences. Today he has earned two Masters degrees and controls his responsibilities well.

The scene plays out many times in the lives of students with ADHD in middle school and high school. Parents and teachers struggle as they attempt to lead these students to complete homework and turn it in. Students get frustrated as they battle disorganization and the nagging adults.

It can become a matter of finding and using the right incentive with the student. Coaching lends a hand when it comes to remaining on focus.  At McNay & Voth ADHD services, we help parents and student find those incentives.