My Pregnant Daughter with ADHD

The months have flown by quickly. It seems just weeks ago when Anna phoned with the news she is pregnant with her first baby, our first grandchild. Now it is a matter of days until delivery.

I love the excitement on Anna’s face and the glow that seems to accompany pregnancy. I believe she and Ben will make terrific parents.

But in the meantime, Anna endures the state of being pregnant while still being a woman with ADHD.

Last week she walked through the door announcing that she was cranky and grumpy. Fatique? Too many things swirling through her mind?

Probably it’s because they painted the baby’s room yet another time. This makes three, and I hope she is satisfied with this color. I thought the other two were lovely, but the second had just a tinge too much lavender in it.

“Who paints a baby’s room that color of purple?” she asked.

“You did,’’ I replied. “And it looks perfect for a little girl.”

“No, I have to get this changed now. The doctor thinks she can come in two weeks instead of four. I have to get it done. This second color looks like purple slushie with cream thrown in it.”

“Just don’t paint it yourself,” I warned.

Her gallant husband said he wasn’t going to paint again, but he did. And she painted a bit while wearing a face mask.

What does the new color look like? Purple. With some of the edge off it.

But that’s only part of the ADHD issue, which of course is the procrastination. She should have been getting the room ready months earlier.

The entire thought of being a mother simply overwhelms Anna. Even though she longed for this child, endured two miscarriages, and vacillated back and forth as to whether they should try for another pregnancy, she worries.

Three weeks ago she was overwhelmed with the thought of washing all the new baby clothes.

“Should I wash the blankets and burp cloths?”

“Well, they are going to be close to her sweet little mouth,” I gushed.

“Good, then that means I don’t have to worry about washing the socks.”

“Mom, I wish she could stay inside,” Anna announced one evening. She meant that Amelia will be better off where she’s at.

“No you don’t, and no she won’t.”

“I’m afraid I won’t be a good mother,” she complained referring to her impulsiveness and temper.

Let’s set the record straight. ADHD behaviors do not mean a woman won’t be a good mother. Anna will be creative, funny, and a bit quirky. As well, I predict she will be highly sensitive to her daughter’s emotional needs.

Amelia will grow up where her mother is strict about being tidy because she has to work hard at it. She will make certain Amelia has spiritual values, educational opportunities, and much love. Ben will do the same, and he will help keep Anna on track with her impulsiveness.

It’s such an exciting time in our house, and I expect Ben’s mom and dad are equally excited. Being born into a loving family all the way around will be the greatest blessing for Amelia – even if her mommy gets overwhelmed and off-track much of the time.