Here it is time to get kids ready
for a new school term. It is a time that can be stressful for any mother. It is
especially stressful for the mom who has ADHD herself.
It can all add up: school supplies,
new clothes, completing enrollment, dreading the new routine.
I am not a person with ADHD, but
those traditional responsibilities put stress on me. I can only imagine what they
do to the mom with ADHD.
Mothers with ADHD often have
difficulty helping their kids get organized because they themselves struggle
with basic organization in the home. Mothers may struggle so much they become
super stringent and inflexible which can lead to arguments or tension each
morning.
The thought of everyone going back
to school may sound delicious to the ADHD mom until she stops and remembers the
tension, swirl of activity, and even the arguments that take place many
mornings as the household prepares for work and school.
For example, there is the mad dash
to find shoes, backpacks, or car keys. Before that there may be the argument
with the child who does not want to get out of bed or even go to school. As a
person with ADHD herself, it may be the mom is walking around in a mental fog
trying to think what she should do next.
A few of you may laugh, but you
know who you are. You know it is all too true.
This is
the time the mom with ADHD should put herself first. Before mother can help her
kids, she must think of several of her own needs:
If it
is difficult to cook, feed the kids, and get out the door on time, the mom with
ADHD might choose breakfast foods that are easy to prepare: peanut butter sandwiches
and fruit smoothies, cheese sticks and sliced fruit, cold cereal with a high
protein ingredient.
I consistently recommend a Control
Center in the house where mom can gather notes from teachers, garage book bags
and other needed items, keep a record of upcoming appointments, and possibly
keep her own purse and car keys. The Control Center helps mom and kids house
items they will need every morning, and everyone can remember where to pick up
those items.
Along the lines of routine, moms
with ADHD often do best with three or four easy steps such as dress, eat, brush
teeth, leave. For an added bonus, moms
with ADHD might benefit from posting a morning schedule on white board.
My mother-in-law, whom we strongly
suspicion was a person with ADHD, worked as a stay-home mom, and she had her
own way of being organized as she rounded up four kids for elementary school.
It challenged her to get herself ready for driving them to school, but she also
had to cook breakfast, soothe bickering, and help dress four kids ages 10-5.
Actually, Betty was somewhat casual about the whole ordeal. She didn’t worry about
how clean her house looked or if she appeared to be a supermom. She focused on the important: get them fed and
out the door. Not really knowing she
provided structure for herself, she volunteered at the school each morning
selling school supplies or acting as a teachers’ helper, and that gave her
motivation to get herself together and get out the door. Even we all four kids were in high school at
the same time, she drove them to school, sometimes with her hair in rollers and
in her nightgown. During the winter, she covered her gown with her fur coat and
pulled on a pair of boots. I laugh when I think of how her teen-aged children
reacted at her attire: “For heaven’s sake mom, don’t get in an
accident dressed like that, and if you do, don’t tell them you’re related to
us.”
For more information on this topic, watch Dr. Atha on The Brett & Sierra Show:
http://www.kwch.com/brett-and-
http://www.kwch.com/brett-and-
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