Putting the Command in Center

Let’s get this straight; all I know about the value of a Command Center I learned from personal experience and common sense.

As a matter of fact, the term Command Center wasn’t even a trendy phrase when I first put the principles to use over 20 years ago. My neighbors took similar actions, and we just thought of it as getting it together.

On a recent TV program I suggested that moms with ADHD be certain they have their Command Centers developed as they help themselves and their family get out the door each morning for school or work.

My daughter, Sarah, even designed an illustration of a Command Center to show the viewing audience, and I’ve included it below for you to see in case you missed seeing the program.

What is a Command Center? It’s the place you park your family calendar, leave notes for each other, and garage necessary items such as your purse and keys, school backpacks, homework, and notes to the school. It is where husbands and dads can leave their briefcase and grab it as they go out the door.

How do you put a Command Center together in your own home? Think of it as a custom design. What is a central area of your home that your family uses every day? Is it the kitchen? Is it the area near your main entrance door? Is it as you step outside to the garage? Then decide if you need a small table or bench at that area. Will you include some sort of baskets? The answers to these and other questions will come from how you want to use your command center. Is it nearby where the family hang coats and jackets? Can kids and adults grab shoes here as they go out the door?

We began using space in the kitchen where I kept my mom calendar and a series of hanging pockets for school notes and other important papers. We expanded it by keeping my husband’s brief case near the exit when my husband left for work. As a matter of fact, I purchased a trendy soft-sided case for him to carry back and forth to work. Even though it was obviously a brief case, he jokingly referred to it as his purse. That worked. He placed his keys and wallet in it before going to bed, and I put his lunch in it each morning. Sarah, Kyle, and Anna soon followed his example by sitting their backpacks in the same area before they went to bed.

It’s important to stress that signed papers and homework where organized in those bags.

You can effectively develop your own Command Center or grab-and-go center in the most convenient room of your home. I often suggest families paint the inside of a kitchen cabinet door with chalkboard paint or hanging a dry erase board in the kitchen.  Use that handy space to post notes to each other. You can build a Command Center from there.

We don’t use a Command Center these days because our children are grown adults, and my husband has retired, but as I write this, I am convicted that it would be a great idea to initiate it again, even if only for my own organization.

For those of you who develop a Command Center as the result of our program and this blog, I invite you to contact us at McNay & Voth, www.coachadhd.com and let us know how you did it and how it is working for you.

Back to School for the Mom with ADHD

Here it is time to get kids ready for a new school term. It is a time that can be stressful for any mother. It is especially stressful for the mom who has ADHD herself.

It can all add up: school supplies, new clothes, completing enrollment, dreading the new routine.  

I am not a person with ADHD, but those traditional responsibilities put stress on me. I can only imagine what they do to the mom with ADHD.

Mothers with ADHD often have difficulty helping their kids get organized because they themselves struggle with basic organization in the home. Mothers may struggle so much they become super stringent and inflexible which can lead to arguments or tension each morning.

The thought of everyone going back to school may sound delicious to the ADHD mom until she stops and remembers the tension, swirl of activity, and even the arguments that take place many mornings as the household prepares for work and school.

For example, there is the mad dash to find shoes, backpacks, or car keys. Before that there may be the argument with the child who does not want to get out of bed or even go to school. As a person with ADHD herself, it may be the mom is walking around in a mental fog trying to think what she should do next.

A few of you may laugh, but you know who you are. You know it is all too true.

           This is the time the mom with ADHD should put herself first. Before mother can help her kids, she must think of several of her own needs:

                            

           If it is difficult to cook, feed the kids, and get out the door on time, the mom with ADHD might choose breakfast foods that are easy to prepare: peanut butter sandwiches and fruit smoothies, cheese sticks and sliced fruit, cold cereal with a high protein ingredient. 

            If she wants a clean kitchen before leaving for work, she can include time in the schedule to rinse cereals bowls and other utensils.  
 

I consistently recommend a Control Center in the house where mom can gather notes from teachers, garage book bags and other needed items, keep a record of upcoming appointments, and possibly keep her own purse and car keys. The Control Center helps mom and kids house items they will need every morning, and everyone can remember where to pick up those items. 

Along the lines of routine, moms with ADHD often do best with three or four easy steps such as dress, eat, brush teeth, leave.  For an added bonus, moms with ADHD might benefit from posting a morning schedule on white board.

My mother-in-law, whom we strongly suspicion was a person with ADHD, worked as a stay-home mom, and she had her own way of being organized as she rounded up four kids for elementary school. It challenged her to get herself ready for driving them to school, but she also had to cook breakfast, soothe bickering, and help dress four kids ages 10-5. Actually, Betty was somewhat casual about the whole ordeal. She didn’t worry about how clean her house looked or if she appeared to be a supermom.  She focused on the important: get them fed and out the door.  Not really knowing she provided structure for herself, she volunteered at the school each morning selling school supplies or acting as a teachers’ helper, and that gave her motivation to get herself together and get out the door.  Even we all four kids were in high school at the same time, she drove them to school, sometimes with her hair in rollers and in her nightgown. During the winter, she covered her gown with her fur coat and pulled on a pair of boots. I laugh when I think of how her teen-aged children reacted at her attire:  “For heaven’s sake mom, don’t get in an accident dressed like that, and if you do, don’t tell them you’re related to us.”

For more information on this topic, watch Dr. Atha on The Brett & Sierra Show:
http://www.kwch.com/brett-and-sierra-show/mcnay-voth-adhd-coaching-services/27322146