Birds of a Feather
“Have you told your readers about our meeting last week?”
Husband seems eager you to know about the support group we are attempting to start.
The experience was a first for our family in our journey with ADHD.
Members of our community with ADHD met together in hopes to norm and form and develop into a CHADD group.
As I think about it, norm may not be an suitable term for this group.
However, I have never seen Husband so positive about himself and his condition of ADHD.
Our small group introduced themselves:
“This is my nine year old son who has ADHD, and I have a younger son who seems to have the same behaviors”
“I am her mother and grandma to this boy. I want to know what I can do to encourage my family.”
“This teen-age boy is my son, and this is my fiancé.”
“We have been together for eight years, and I feel like the ADHD is part of our relationship.”
“We are here because my wife saw a flyer at the university. My son and I have ADHD, and my wife has been reading all sorts of books.”
“I am a person with ADD and so is this son, who is 10 years old.”
“Your daughter invited me because she knows I struggle with the needs of my own twelve-year-old daughter.”
I turned to the young woman fiancé and asked, “So you really plan to marry this guy? How much do you know about ADHD and relationships? I wish you and I had time for a private conversation. After all, it is only fair that future spouses have a foundational knowledge of the potential struggles as well as potential strengths. I want to make certain you understand the implications here.”
Hearing me say that, the man whose wife reads a lot, asked, “Could we have a break-out group for wives and mothers, especially wives? I think my wife would benefit from it.”
The discussion was informal, so comments shot around the room like popcorn. Everyone tried to tell his or her story which all seemed quite similar in many ways.
“I never felt like I belonged to a group when I was in high school.”
“Well, I am now in high school, and I only have one close friend who understands me.”
“I see the same thing happening with my daughter.”
“My son has been suspended from school two times this week for inappropriate behavior. I think the teacher does not like him.”
“I struggled a great deal last year with both the teacher and the principal at my child’s school.
I observed Husband’s interest in what the others were attempting to express, and I could tell he fully related to their stories and past anguishes.
“I suffer with depression.”
"Me, too, which medication do you take for it?”
“Do any of you take meds for the ADHD? I just don’t like any them, so I refuse medication.”
“Yes, I know that dilemma. My medication makes me feel like it is pinching me across the forehead.”
“I have a hard time getting my daughter to take her meds.”
“I find that I have to take mine, so I can focus in high school.”
Husband willing shared openly about his lifelong struggles and difficulties. He admitted that I am the main reason he takes his meds both for ADHD and comorbid depression, but he gave much credit to his brilliant psychiatrist for helping him find the right combination and strengths.
I couldn’t help wondering if this is similar to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.
Think of it: “Hello, my name is Joe Smith, and I am a person with ADHD.”
Instead of a circle of people who appear defeated, however, this circle of people had tapping feet, hands that moved rapidly, and voices competing to be heard.
After the meeting, groups of two or three clustered together:
“I was interested in hearing how you handled the problems at your child’s school.”
“I want to know more about what Strattera does for you.”
“What is the name of your psychiatrist? Is she taking more patients?”
Before the attendees left, they were sharing names and numbers. The two boys talked about the toys they brought.
Most importantly to me, Husband shook hands with everyone including the boys. “Thank you for coming today. We hope to see you next month.”
